Befriending the enemy.

Spending time with God has become literally my favorite part of my day. I never knew that establishing a routine of forming a personal relationship with Him could bring me such joy. Many things spoke to me today letting me know that I am healing, growing, and trusting Him. When I trust Him I find the peace and joy that only He can bring to my life.

Today's devotion made me cry almost has hard as on January 8th when I first decided to hold the Lord's hand. He is always speaking to me and it is almost ironic how spot on and relevant to my life His words are to my heart. Today's devotion brought to light everything that has happened to me and gave me reassurance that where I am, right now, today, is exactly where God has always intended me to be.
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March 5th

"MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE PROBLEMS IN YOUR LIFE. Though many things feel random and wrong, remember that I am sovereign over everything. I can fit everything into a pattern for good, but only to the extent the you trust Me. Every problem can teach you something, transforming you little by little into the masterpiece I created you to be. The very same problem can become a stumbling block over which you fall if you react with distrust and defiance. The choice is up to you, and you will have to choose many times each day whether to trust Me or defy Me.

The best way to befriend your problems is to thank Me for them. This simple act opens your mind to the possibility of benefits flowing from your difficulties. You can even give persistent problems flowing from your difficulties. You can even give persistent problems nicknames, helping you to approach them with familiarity rather than with dread. The next step is to introduce them to Me, enabling Me to embrace them in My loving Presence. I will not necessarily remove your problems, but My wisdom is sufficient to bring good out of every one of them.
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How cool is our God. It's a slow realization how much my problems have become my closest friends. They consume my time and my mind and through them I have been able to find comfort and peace in my Savior. The darkness brings forth His light. It is scary but when I think about my life and the trials I have recently lived through, I know for a fact that I would not feel this close to God if those problems had never occurred. So should I be thankful for these new found friends, yes. Even in the midst of confusion I must find understanding that this is God's will.

Tonight I went to Catholic Mass for the Lent service. I have been expanding my horizons lately and although there are many things that bother me about the Catholic faith I know that in the end we all worship the same God no matter what laws of the word we believe. I want to learn to love like God and be a friend in Christ to those that I find it the hardest to forgive. But as in the Lord's Prayer I pray and confirm in my heart "Forgive those who trespass against us." In this I am finding peace. Peace in things that I do not understand or have concrete answers too. Being a friend and supporting the growth of faith in those I love makes my heart happy. God is the only way that I can make sense out of certain feelings and thoughts that I have recently been experiencing. It is exciting to be able to share with others all that I am learning about His Word.

The Holy Spirit is living in me. I am holding God's right hand. My heart is becoming filled with praise and thanksgiving for the life that I am living: past, present & future.

Happy Season of Lent! Indeed, it is good to be alive and to know His grace and mercy. I pray that God continues to let His light shine in me. That He uses me as an instrument for His kingdom.

Most of all, I pray for peace within my circumstances. My problems are my friends.

I love you Lord.
-Brittany